Genealogy has always been a little difficult for me because my family. This last year has been difficult as I struggle with the loss of my brother, but I've also noticed that I've been grieving my family. I am the oldest of my siblings. I was born and then a year later a brother was born premature and he only lived 2 days. Then a sister came about 2 years later. After her came another premature brother who lived 2 months and died in his sleep at home. Within a couple of years my parents had another girl, and then eighteen months later, another girl, and then another eighteen months, 10 years from when I was born, a boy - my brother.
My parents divorced when I was 12 years old, and those years leading up to their separation and divorce were ones that justified the divorce. My siblings and I all lived with our mother. Life was cruel (not appropriate in this post to say more), but we had each other. We became our own sub-family. My sister just under me started to have severe difficulties with her mental health, and for safety issues, our sub-family became me and my 3 youngest siblings. The years only strengthened this subfamily as we became adults and learned who we could count on.
Thus, why this year has been devastating.
As I write this post, which I'm scared might be over sharing, I think of the families that I've researched. Families that have lost parents or children far too young. Getting to know these families and their own struggles, helps to see what is just part of life, and what is more.
I am still struggling to come to terms with my brother's passing. I hope that by preserving stories, photos and other information about him will help future generations to know him, so he's not just a name on a birth/death certificate. I want to preserve the struggle and the triumphs my subfamily has gone through, and help future generations to know us, and maybe learn from what we did to love each other regardless.
