Still Doing Genealogy - Grief Stops Posts

It becomes difficult to keep on posts regarding genealogy when family members shift from day to day interaction, to someone who qualifies as part of your genealogy criteria.  My brother passed away suddenly in May 2014.  He was only 33 years old.  It has been one of the hardest things I have had to come to terms with in my life, or at least it feels like it because the pain is strong right now.

Genealogy has always been a little difficult for me because my family.  This last year has been difficult as I struggle with the loss of my brother, but I've also noticed that I've been grieving my family.  I am the oldest of my siblings.  I was born and then a year later a brother was born premature and he only lived 2 days.  Then a sister came about 2 years later.  After her came another premature brother who lived 2 months and died in his sleep at home.  Within a couple of years my parents had another girl, and then eighteen months later, another girl, and then another eighteen months, 10 years from when I was born, a boy - my brother.

My parents divorced when I was 12 years old, and those years leading up to their separation and divorce were ones that justified the divorce.  My siblings and I all lived with our mother.  Life was cruel (not appropriate in this post to say more), but we had each other.  We became our own sub-family.  My sister just under me started to have severe difficulties with her mental health, and for safety issues, our sub-family became me and my 3 youngest siblings.  The years only strengthened this subfamily as we became adults and learned who we could count on.

Thus, why this year has been devastating.

As I write this post, which I'm scared might be over sharing, I think of the families that I've researched.  Families that have lost parents or children far too young.  Getting to know these families and their own struggles, helps to see what is just part of life, and what is more.

I am still struggling to come to terms with my brother's passing.  I hope that by preserving stories, photos and other information about him will help future generations to know him, so he's not just a name on a birth/death certificate.  I want to preserve the struggle and the triumphs my subfamily has gone through, and help future generations to know us, and maybe learn from what we did to love each other regardless.

Gone Daddy Gone

I spent today doing some research on my father's side of the family.  I don't know much about my dad, or his family because after my parents divorced, he didn't really talk much to us.  But on top of that, his dad left him when he was just under a year old, and he never really knew his dad.  And today while doing research and looking over census records and immigration records, I see that his dad spent a lot of time with his grandmother and not his father.  In 1940 at the age of 15, it shows that my grandfather was living with his grandmother, aunt and uncle, instead of his father and his new family.  Talk about coming to understand better some of the deep seeded issues.

Family Sayings

New Episodes of Who Do You Think You Are - Coming Soon

GENEALOGY ROADSHOW coming to PBS in September this year

PBS has announced a new show called GENEALOGY ROADSHOW.
GENEALOGY ROADSHOW will air Mondays, September 23-October 14, 9:00-10:00 p.m. ET.

Genealogy Roadshow

PBS has it shows available online if you don't have cable at PBS.org.  Enjoy!

Is there a difference between Genealogy and Family History?

Recently the family search blog posted an article regarding the difference between Genealogy and Family History.

Difference Genealogy Family History

I have always thought of them as two distinct things.  Genealogy has been about the people who have passed on.  In particular dates and such.  But Family History is about stories and photos.

My maternal grandmother was very much into genealogy.  She spent about 50-60 years working on genealogy research.  She was able to find many people.  My religion emphasizes the importance of genealogy and encourages all members to participate in genealogy.  I was not interested in doing the research.  I had a hard time sitting still and my brain went into immediate meh when it came to genealogy.  But I did enjoy stories.

In college I took a class on preserving family history.  I loved the idea of interviewing family members and doing what was necessary to have stories to pass on.  I started a family newsletter in 2004 to help keep my extended family closer, but also to preserve our stories and photos throughout the year.

But I can see how these two words are unifying.  It's important to know more than just names and dates.  It is important to try and get to know these people who have gone on before who are our family.  It is also important to make sure that we also pass on stories and photos to be included with our names and dates.

Family Stories that Bind Us

The New York Times published an article back in March of this year regarding how the telling of certain family stories makes that family stronger and the children more able to cope with life.

The Family Stories that Bind Us

From a layman's perspective, I have to agree with the idea of needing to know about past family stories in order to feel connected as a family.  Even though my extended family is quite close, there were aspects of life we did not talk about.  Certain topics were off limits and not to be discussed in the open, or at all with the person it involved.  It was like, if we don't talk about it, it never happened.  I am not saying you should talk about past flaws all the time, but I do agree with the idea of saying at the right moment, I did this wrong and I've struggled to change, and would not make that same decision again.

On the other side of my family - I know nothing.  I have been doing a lot of digging around to find out even just minor details about grandparents and cousins.  Also, the stories that did make it to me did not leave my grandmother in the best light.  (My grandmother died in a car accident before my parents even met, and then my parents divorced and it was my father's mother, so we only had very limited information.)  I realize we are all human and make choices, but if all you ever hear about someone is the bad, it's very hard to form an understanding of who they were, and it does leave you feeling off in yourself.  After all, I am 1/8 that person.  Does that mean that 1/8 of me is whatever stories you've told?

We all come from a family.  And as families continue to be bombarded by challenges to just stay together, it seems like sharing information about who your ancestors were and how they overcame, or didn't overcome challenges, helps to strengthen the current family.